Time and Distance

My GPS calculates the distance as 42 miles, and estimates the travel time at 1 hour and 18 minutes. Today it seems a million miles away. It has been almost two days since I was there and already it seems like a lifetime. I get an occasional email -- reminding me of this and asking about that, but that is all. There are no casual visitors, no shared laughs, no quiet moments of contemplation. Life there goes on without me.

And I suppose life here goes on also. I tend to a sick child and read from a classic text. I pray the Daily Office with a sense of duty that sometimes betrays my spiritual struggles. I recount my past visits and make plans for my next arrival.

All this is fine, and God knows that there are plenty of things I could and should be doing. But deep down inside, I know that I am not living in the moment, but rather in memories of the past or in dreams of the future.

God, show me the way.